She is 4 years younger. She is a university don. She is tall and impressive. She is know for her erudition in literary circles. Yet I severed my relations with her. She is not comfortable maintaining relations with me. She is not at ease thinking of me. She feels threatened from me. Of what? I do not know.
I recall in growing up years she was adversely compared with me by one and all. She was at times publicly humiliated also. I was good in maths and was able to do justice in languages and social studies too. To her, maths and science were torture. She is not submissive. She is brave. Therefore any scolding for poor show in science subjects made her bitter and rebellious. She had her own ways and skill sets not exactly conforming to the values of our family. Now she shows no signs of outgrowing childhood misadventures/ mishaps. She must find relief from the bitterness she carries in her heart. Only by grace of God can her mind turn in positive direction. I can only pray.
It is a feeling of severing one's own hand because of gangrene.I do not want to leave this world carrying dues in any form. Only God can help me achieve this.
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2 comments:
It is not a case of amputation; it is a deep yet clear cut which is likely to heal up with the passage of time. It is true that even after healing it will leave a scar. The blogger's sister will, with the grace of God, will mend her ways of acting and thinking.
Navin C Misra.
Marriage is a complex institution. Thus the brave leave their families and build a family of their own. This gradually narrows the vision and relationships slowly fade into formalities. On the other hand, Indian sensibilities are intense and the numerous rituals keep each relationship healthy as it matures to next phase. The personal emancipation or empowerment of the individual fosters in alienation. As the blogger discovers the varied flavours of life through his wife and children, he naturally moves away from the drab and rigid Indian practice of ordained reserve. Frost finds the rustic wisdom of erecting fences restrictive at times, but in his ambiguous way he admits that it serves purpose. The ill of the modern world is gradual loss of human values and constriction of emotions which in term created by Toffler produces "future shock". We are not that far gone to become void of all emotions and neither have the past sensibility nurture all relationships with positive emotions.
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