I have a sister named Shubha

She is 4 years younger. She is a university don. She is tall and impressive. She is know for her erudition in literary circles. Yet I severed my relations with her. She is not comfortable maintaining relations with me. She is not at ease thinking of me. She feels threatened from me. Of what? I do not know.

I recall in growing up years she was adversely compared with me by one and all. She was at times publicly humiliated also. I was good in maths and was able to do justice in languages and social studies too. To her, maths and science were torture. She is not submissive. She is brave. Therefore any scolding for poor show in science subjects made her bitter and rebellious. She had her own ways and skill sets not exactly conforming to the values of our family. Now she shows no signs of outgrowing childhood misadventures/ mishaps. She must find relief from the bitterness she carries in her heart. Only by grace of God can her mind turn in positive direction. I can only pray.

It is a feeling of severing one's own hand because of gangrene.I do not want to leave this world carrying dues in any form. Only God can help me achieve this.

My sons and my wife made (?) me complete

When I married, for the first time I came in close contact with someone from outside our family. She was and has been different from me in many ways. I was immature and unwise. I could not appreciate the difference and its importance. Then came along two lovely sons, Parikshit and Bharat. They are now 19 and 15 years old respectively. They too presented with their own kind of peculiarities and nuances. Gradually by the grace of God realization entered me and I started to enjoy and respect the differences in likes, aptitudes, preferences. Rest of my life I will continue to compensate my wife for not being sensitive enough in early years of our association. So if somebody finds me over-doing my love for her, please excuse and forgive.